Steve – Comedian

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Steve Iott

Described as a master of improv comedy, sprinkling bizarre tales and clever one liners! Steve … One of our most requested acts, with great crowd interaction with no two shows alike.

Steve has also been featured on A&E’s “Evening at the Improv”,  Comedy Central and The Bob and Tom Show. Joined by the very funny and clever Chris Hegdus. 

Steve has headlined Major Comedy Clubs for over 20 years. Steve has excelled at hundreds of corporate events for Rusch Entertainment, where clean material is required, including Chamber of Commerce events, Country Clubs, Hospitals, Banks, CPA Firms, Credit Unions, Colleges, Rotary Clubs, and State Conventions.

Steve is a very funny man who lives in Michigan. In addition to being a professional comedian, he writes an award-winning column posted on the Internet. He also lies frequently about receiving awards for his writing. Steve is an embattled veteran comic who has seen it all, and has plenty to say about it. He does comedy without the aid of props, mirrors, or sleight-of-hand camera tricks. Known as a master of improvisation, Steve takes the audience along as he spins bizarre tales of ridiculous life experiences. No topic is safe, and no two shows are ever the same.

No stranger to either television or the concert stage, Steve has appeared on A&E, Comedy Central, and has opened shows for Steven Wright, Chicago and Bill Maher.

One of Steve's Columns - From Your Valentine

The origin of Valentine’s Day is nearly as confusing and complicated as love itself, except the origin probably never gets yelled at for leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor.

There are all kinds of theories on how this celebration of the heart got started.  Contrary to what I thought, none of these tales has anything to do with the machine gun murders that happened in Chicago in 1929.  The shootings had a lot more to do with bootlegging whiskey than young couples in love.  Even though as I understand it, a lot of those guys were shot through the heart.

Most of the various legends about Valentine’s Day deal with the conflict in the third century between a priest, not surprisingly named Valentine, and a Roman Emperor named Claudius II.  Since everybody knows the Romans and the Christians were not the best dance partners, you can imagine how badly this story ends for Valentine.

Which makes me wonder why the Romans always seem to turn out to be a stick in the world’s collective craw?  For every good thing we’ve copied from Roman society, like indoor plumbing, or our political system (by the way, some people would argue those are both the same), there are ten asinine things that found their way into history–like slavery and public executions.  Of course if you were a lion, you did eat pretty well during the reign of the Romans.

Anyway, it turns out that Claudius II, our Roman Emperor, was extremely disappointed in the poor performance of married soldiers.  It’s no real surprise that men who actually had something to come home to, did not make the best soldiers when they were away from Rome.  So, to keep men of fighting age from being distracted by love and the opposite sex, Claudius banned marriage all together.  It’s similar to the concept a trainer uses when he tells a boxer not to have sex the night before a big fight.  Of course, anyone who’s ever been married will tell that you the least exhausting thing about marriage is the sex.  Plus, there’s no real evidence that abstaining from sex saves enough energy to make a difference for boxing.  Unless, I guess, you’re doing it in the locker room right before the fight.  Which kind of explains the towel around the neck and the bathrobe.

Our hero Valentine would have none of Emperor Claudius’ anti-social behavior.  He ignored the ban on marriage and he continued to marry young lovers in secret.  He was eventually jailed for this defiance, though.  And while in prison, Claudius tried to force the priest to denounce his faith and convert to paganism.  Valentine, in turn, tried to convert Claudius to Christianity.  Unfortunately, since it’s difficult to win a test of wills when you’re standing behind bars, Valentine failed to persuade the Roman Emperor and was condemned to death.  Sadly, the priest was stoned and then beheaded.

The only good thing in the story is that while Valentine was imprisoned, he himself found love.  He fell in love with a woman who was blind.  A handicap which explains why she never asked the question, “Hey, why are you in prison?”  And to make matters even more interesting, this blind woman just happened to be the daughter of Valentine’s jailer.  Yeah, and you think your in-laws don’t give you a fair shake.

The story goes that before his death, Valentine’s true undying love for this woman and his unyielding faith healed her blindness.  As he was taken away to his execution, he left a farewell message to his love which he ended with the phrase, “From your Valentine.”  Which, although he was now dead, she could finally read.

A couple hundred years later, Pope Galasius set aside the day of the priest’s death, February 14, to honor Saint Valentine.

Usually I’m not a big fan of jailhouse romance, but I like the legend of Saint Valentine.  I’m going to make it a point to start signing my Valentines, “From your Valentine.”  I used to sign them, “Be my Valentine,” but that’s kind of like asking someone to prove her love by getting executed and beheaded for me.  That’s a pretty serious request.  Especially since I can’t even remember to pick up my wet towels off the bathroom floor.